Has to....

The leaves spiraled down towards me as I walked towards office.

I looked up to see where they came from. It was almost winter and they were shedding off right from they were had sprouted not so long ago. Sitting at my desk, I had stolen many a glance at those majestic trees. With each passing day their shade had increased. The beauty that once was deep green was now a pastel tone.

And the snow covered mountains painted a brilliant background to the now barren trees.

The mundane chores of the office life took my mind off that thought.

Not long after, I returned home and sat with bowl of ice-cream on a rather icy chair in a rather icy evening. I looked up and saw the brilliance of a starry cloudless night, of mountains glistening in the light of a near full moon. And I thought – this HAS TO BE the proof that God exists. The universe couldn’t jus lie there making it so beautiful all on its own. It couldn’t be one huge coincidence.

Some artist HAS TO BE giving the flowers just the right colours to make them look that bright and full of life.

He HAD TO BE using just the right amount of lighting to make the moonlit night just dark enough to be romantic, just bright enough for the ones in love to see their faces.

He HAD TO know the perfect angles on the hills to get the sunlight to come through into the valley.

No I don’t believe that God’s a master puppeteer with our strings in his hand. But I do believe that he is a master artist who works really hard to make an almost perfect picture. One that we fail to see almost everyday.

To find God we don’t need a temple or a church. A garden in full bloom would do.

The pictures of music..

He strode on his stallion... the wind trying hard to keep pace...

The horizon was jus beyond the hill... just beyond the tall blades of grass… the country side was flying past… and yet he could hear the birds chirping the songs of spring…

The sun shone through the trees... as if to mark his road back...

Each gallop each stride brought them closer... in the distance he could see the green carpet that marked the beginning of his homeland...

He had conquered his land’s enemy… just crossed the most torturous part of the journey... it was almost a miracle that he had survived...

But now his people awaited him… their leader... their protector... their hope...

He could hear a melody... a voice... it was the sound of victory and of miracles...

He was home...

Santorini.......

wonder years..

there was the time when fluttering of butterflies intersted me just as much as flying kites..

and when making it thru a whole road on the bicycle was way too cool..

it never ceased to amaze me how a star could shine for so long without electricity..

and that there was always a reason to get some ice-cream...

no matter what time of the day, a comic always provided relief..

and that girl in class always seemed angel-like..

never did once I say no to going out there an playing.. I even did it on the day before my exams..

when right before my eyes, when some dreams shattered, the new ones dint take time to form...

to the time where I look back and think.. foolish but innocent.. frivolous but happy.. petty but pure.. immature but had a heart of gold..

those were my wonder years..

bring back those wonder years of mine..
get those birds and bees to fly again..
to run with friends on the sands of fun..
to dream every dream the eyes could see..
fill my heart again with love that pure..
show the shapes that stars can make..
those drops of heaven that got me wet..
turn back long oh hands.. oh hands of time..

Happy Children's day to the child in all of us !!

its been a year !!

while running thru the daily jostles of the day.. i realised its been a year since i set foot (for the second time) here in the place they call heaven on earth..

some times it feels that time has feet of lead.. and others when it has wings..

across that space

They watched as the colourful night got brighter...

People in dazzling outfits thronged to join in the celebrations of the soon to be wed couple...

It was a custom... a tradition... to dance to the rhythms of their motherland and the revelry was unabashed... dance for as long as your feet still could sway with the vigour that only youth knew..

The new age has added its own to the rituals... slow enchanting music... with them dancing even slower... slow dance they aptly called it..

And just right there, while all the love was on display... there was the love unknown to the rest... it was jus theirs to be... no one knew of its existence... though some spoke of it in hushed tones.. No one could prove its existence...

When they exchanged glances across that space, they wished they could be as unabashed as the crowd... throw away the veil of unonymity and hold on to each other... and sway to the slowness of the music...

Suddenly, the notes of the music took a familiar path... one that they both knew rather well... one that they took themselves ever so often... one they knew they would always dance to..

The path of holding their love behind the thick curtains of denial always meant that when they wanted to, they couldn’t...

The notes got clearer and the music sweeter... those who did have the society's approval of holding on to the partner of their choice joined the betrothed couple and hoped to be part of the attention...

They tried locating each other across that space... but there were far too many people getting in their way...

Their eyes met... and all they could hear was the song that brought love into their lives... no more did the people matter... no more was there any need of secrecy... their eyes spoke loud... and their love arrived unheralded into the night... and across that space they danced... arm in arm.. hand in hand...

Naya Samvat...

नया समवत.. नयी हसरत..

ज़्यादा खुशी.. कम मुसीबत !!


According to the Hindu calender, the first day after diwali marks the start of a new year, also known as Samwat.

And to translate .. its a new year, there would be new wishes.. let there be more joy and less problems !!

Amen !!

The festival of lights

a day we all look forward to the whole year...

its here..

Happy Diwali…

i read this article .. and was so moved..

realised that the value of the rupee is reducing... mainly in the eyes of insatiable selves like me..

those people look so happy.. their happiness glowing in all its trueness and sincerity.. makes me realise that its not always the expense that defines the celebration.. its the spirit...

and deep inside.. i know.. i was always aware of that.. jus realised that the awareness had gone way deep... burried under all the layers of materialistic junk i have accumulated over the years of gainful employment...

status msgs

the new messengers and their ability of reflecting the user's state of mind.. is priceless...

i just read this "status".. and it is as funny as it is true..

and it states... women are meant to be loved... not understood :)

BINGO !!!!

home...

As I walked to the office of aliens (now that’s what they call the immigration office in Italian) to get my inter-galactic residence documentation...ok... my work permit... I realized...

In a month and half I’d be leaving this place that I had made my home for the last year... heading back to the place I have always called home... Chennai... India... and although I’ve been longing to get back there... suddenly I feel I need to gulp in as much of Lugano as I possible can over the next few days...

From home... to home... missing home at home... leaving home and heading home...

So what is home...?

In my dictionary... it’s the place I’d know I m at peace with the rest of the world... it’s the place that I know reflect who I am... and it’s the place I feel is a part of me...

So if I feel I’m leaving a part of me behind... when I’m going away from a place... that’s been home...

And funnily... when I get back home, it would be a new home... and the home I was in when I came to Lugano is now someone else's home...

Home is where the heart is... so it seems that my heart is splattered all across Google maps... bits here n there...

how long... ??

i heard somewhere.. forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness..'

am beginning to wonder... is it the key to your unhappiness or is it the cause of it..

there always land up people arnd you who test your limits.. of patience and good behaviour.. pricks if you may...

how long do u forgive.. god said forgive 7 times 7 times 7.. whether or not there is a GOD is a whole new debate..

but right now.. i only pray for some sense and empathy from people.. !! futile eh ????

and there will be more people who prefer to watch the shit silently.. than to speak up against something wrong !!

and then you hear a resonance... its coming from their hollowness - doers and watchers !!!!!

post traumatic stress..

my eyes are fighting with my head.. the twins wanting to rest.. and the dwarf compeltely restless.. its then i realise.. its not the head that is restless..

its something else.. something tat reaches beyong the realms of the understanding of my rather miniscule brain and its minisculer still experience levels..

maybe someday, i'll teach my grand kids about.. but right now.. i need to figure my way out of this stress thats promising to drive me to the immigration desk of insanity..

and why....

i'd only wish i could answer...

yeah but i know that sometimes hurt comes from the corners you expect it least from.. and it comes in ways you never fathom..

but the pain is only as deep as you want it to be... because sometimes.. the best you can do in pain is smile it through.. hell.. easier said than done.. but yet..

or reach out to someone who'd just hear you out.. or just know that they'll always have an ear for you..

thats when sometimes you get to know that you have two poles.. north and south...

the eyes are hurting.. and so is a lot more.. but i will smile..

tomorrow is a new day.. with a chance to make a brand new beginning and a brand new end...

PS : A birthday cake or a columbian coffee flavoured icecream can help ease the pain too..

Thoughts after a thunderstorm..

it was a mid summer's thunderstorm.. sometime in july... as the darkness of the clouds fought with the fading daylight.. to engulf the hills around my small apartment.. and as i looked out, it began.. my favourite part of the rainy season.. the rain.... and while i wondered abt a gazzillion trivial things.. these thoughts came across..

so here goes..

-------------------------

Staring at the window..
Watching small worlds pelting down
Each one making its own path
On its long journey to join the others
And some stay back on the glass
Glittering like tiny far away stars
Throwing out a million colours
Till it passes on to come back
As another drop on another journey
The grass greener, the earth softer..
The trees stronger and flowers fresher
With the drops inside them
Exchanging love for life
As the drops keep coming
From thundering skies
And yet when their home is no more
And the heaven can be seen
It brings down on the earth
A purpose that has been

-----------------------------------

where's my purpose... ???