Far too much in a month

A lot of water has passed under the bridges since my last post.

We beat Australia 2-0 in the tests. Dada led the team for one last time.

England came in and got thrashed 5 - 0 in as many matches.

I got my admit to my dream school.

And then the mindless terrorism in Mumbai.

A detailed post on each of this and more coming up in the next few days.

May the souls of the departed in Mumbai rest in peace. And lets hope our politicians grow up.

Prayers to the almighty be heard soon. Amen !!!

Jumbo.. by name.. by stature.. by character

It did come as a shock.. but deep inside it wasn't so much of a shock..

A man and a cricketer I have always held in the highest esteem.

Anil Kumble has finally called it quits.

It would actually be ironic to use the word "QUITS" for him. Let me rephrase that.

Anil Kumble will compete no more.

Hmm.. that sounds a lot more appropriate.

Many points in his career that I have been lucky to watch live, thanks to those hours spent watching cricket on the tele. Be it the perfect 10 at Kotla, the "Jaws" at Antigua (though it might be named that more for those jaws that dropped open to watch him bowl with a fractured jaw), the poise after the massacre of cricket at Sydney in 2008, or the pain to watch him being hit for a boundary on his last delivery in Test Cricket.

A trier, someone who never quit, a man whose heart and commitment always reflected his nickname - Jumbo.

There might be some Warne who achieved greatness in numbers by their sheer talent.. and then there are those like Jumbo - head and shoulders above - who've achieved greatness not just in numbers, but also in stature. In him, there is also someone who reached magical figures by sheer perseverence.

Rise and applaud - a great man has just left the building.

Goodbye Jumbo.

Saurav Dada.. tomake aamra shobshomoye mone korte thakbo !!

Dada.. as Sourav Ganguly is affectionately called, has been one of my favourite cricketers for a long time. I prefer him over a techincally perfect Rahul "wall" Dravid or a exceptionally talented Sachin.

I guess thats because he is where he is inspite of his flaws. The other two guys mentioned above would've made it big for sure. Or maybe because Ganguly is someone I can related to, others being exceptionally talented.

I loved Dada for his courage, aggression and passion. He may not have been a great player of fast bowling or was a little sluggish on the field. But he gave it his all whenever he was on the field.

I am not a cricket pundit and I wont write a long post about Dada's achievements. I just am dedicating this post to a man i admired on the cricket field. And that to know that he would not be around anymore, it feels sad. Like the day it did when Gilchrist retired - another player i admired a lot. Its these kind of characters that made me watch all the matches that i have in the last 15 years or so.

I hope this Series is a signature series as far as Dada is concerned - high voltage, classic action and a couple back to back hundreds perhaps.

Bareh tu Hazar Dafa !!

It is not that often that I approach a movie with palpitations.

But Kite runner was one such. Having located my friend's disk, i decided to watch the movie version of one of my favourite books - Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. And unlike some of the other book based movies, it didnt disappoint. In fact, it showed how easy it was to make a movie from a book so picturesque.

Its almost half past two, but I had to write this down before I lost these thoughts in the drone of a weekday.

The poignance, innocence and loyalty conveyed by the movie/story is all wrapped up into one sentence.

"Bareh tu Hazar Dafa" - "for you.. a thousand times over" !!

Blue pill.. red pill !!

There is a reason why I felt that the Matrix trilogy was such a path breaking movie series. Behind all the sci-fi, there is a simple philosophy.

Life is a series of blue pills and red pills. Blue pills let you lie in status quo. Reb pills show you what lies at the end of the rabit hole. At each turn, we make a choice of how or to where we wish to proceed. These choices define the positions we take and land up in life. We sometimes go long on pain and short on happiness.

The choices are not always simple to make. If life were just black and white, it would be easier to decipher its meaning, its intricacies. But white and black just form 2% of it all. The rest is an array of shades of grey. These choices are governed by a lot of factors – one being the greatest human strength and the greatest weakness – emotion. Logic, reason, sensibilities all come a distant second to emotion. Decisions made at the behest of tugs of emotion lie on somewhat hollow credentials.

Days when we look back, we sometimes wish we’d done things differently. We wish we’d been stronger at that moment and done what was right. We wish we’d taken the red pill.

The twins..

It did not matter if they were separated by a thousand miles. They could sense when the other needed someone around. After all they were twins and their love was not defined by distances. Tying them together were bonds very few could comprehend, let alone understand.

She loved him for what he wasn’t. He wasn’t like the others who thought of her as someone who needed to left alone. He loved her for reasons not many understood. Not many could fathom how. But they saw in each other what no one else could. They saw refuge. They saw understanding. They saw acceptance.

He needed to be loved and always needed that love to be conveyed. Insecure some would say. But no one figured out that it was just his heart - and its love. She did. She recognized love when she saw it. Love for those he really cared for. And she dint ever allow that to get to him. She loved him all along.

She had fought a long battle. One with herself. One of realization and acceptance of who she was. She had shied away from her self for far too long. And he knew she needed to win that one on her own. Victory meant that she never would have to look over her shoulder and think – “did I make the biggest mistake of my life?” each time. She needed to sound the bugles of victory over herself soon.

She always wanted him to make that leap from being brave to being strong. He had a chink in his armour. His problems were somehow always his own. He dint talk about them. He did not share. And when he did, it meant that he was too tired to fight any more.

She always wanted him to be happy because she always felt that he deserved it. He could never bear the sight of tears in her eyes. He felt helpless to see her cry. Especially when he was not around.

Now she had the shores of where he wanted her to be in her sight. He was taking small leaps up the hill. It wasn’t very far off. They would meet soon. He would let her weep away her pains one last time while he shared some of his new found strength with her.

I got mugged.

Not long ago, someone told me their story about getting mugged and I always felt that I won’t ever fall prey to that.

And just right there I did.

I dint realize when it hit me. I thought I was all safe and fine and then right there, it happened.

Next time, I’d have to be a lot lot more cautious.

reality of illusions !!

Illusion - a perception, as of visual stimuli that represents what is perceived in a way different from the way it is in reality.

We all have our set of illusions. Illusions that make us happy and ones that make us cry. Ones that tell us who we are or can be and ones that completely lie. The goal isn’t really to break the illusion, it’s only to acknowledge it and be aware of its existence. We all need the illusions that we are surrounded with to remain within the walls of sanity as we know it.

"Have you ever had a dream, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?"

The biggest illusion is the one about reality – that there isn’t an illusion at all. Ironic as it may sound, the illusion is the reality !!!

A swiss sunset

It was the dazzling brilliance of the sparkling sun that had transformed the simple clouds into brilliant jewellery on the shy bride for the sky.

The sun ran through the palette from the blazing orange to the stunning scarlet, bathing the sky with all its glory. Drawing paths on the sky, and illuminating it through the crevices that the white bundles of cotton provided.

Each time I looked up from the book, it was a different shade, a different stroke and a different beauty.

I realized that this was one of the most beautiful sunsets I had seen in this city.

And I am sure it had more to offer.

Only if I had the time to look up.

And realize that Chennai too has its "Swiss" sunsets !!!

It rained me hollow !!

As I prepared to disembark from my rather monotonous journey from the station to the office, it started pouring down as though it had been waiting for months to do so.

This wasn’t the first rain fall that I would be getting wet in, in the last year or so.

I’d had the “privilege” to play, walk even jog in the showers that I’ve encountered over the past 12 months or so. I even roamed an Italian city in rain. In fact the start of this blog was a poem written on a day of a thunderstorm.

Each of the last encounters with drizzles or downpours alike, had a feeling or thought associated with it. Elation, satisfaction, comfort, joy anguish.

But today was different.

Today as I scampered for cover, I wished I dint. I wished, I had allowed myself to actually get soaked and drenched, praying that hopefully, it would fill me whole again.

But it didn’t. It almost felt like the raindrops poured through me into the dark asphalt.

Today, it rained me hollow.

The kite runner...

When someone tells a story that is rooted in their hearts, it doesnt take much effort to tell it.

And Kite runner is one such poignant story.

I loved the book and recommend it to any adult.

Two of my favourite lines was "Perspective is a luxury when your mind is constantly buzzing with a swarm of demons" and "...lifting him from the certainty of turmoil and dropping him into the turmoil of uncertainty"

Kudos to Hosseini.

Mashallah !!!

Baggage Limit...

A blog pending since December.
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"No Sir, I am extremely sorry. That is THE limit. 20 kgs is all you can check in. There is nothing I can do to increase that"

The date was 20th of December last year. I was packing up my stuff in Lugano and the realization swept across the room that was decorated with shopping bags and garbage bags alike.
I was returning to where I had come from - home. The airlines and the travel agents had been adamant about the check in weight limit. And here I was, sitting with a weighing scale measuring the impact of the visits to each of the stores.
In the overwhelming disappointment, I could only manage to squeak a “thanks” to the lady who had answered my call to the airline. I had accumulated so much in the previous year. Souvenirs, gifts, memorabilia and so much more. How was I going to take them back home? As I sat there, alone at home, figuring out what to leave behind and what to check in, it struck me that I just treaded upon a thought - something that I probably already knew; only it hit me a lot harder this time around.
Leaving Lugano after a year was almost like it was symbolizing life.

My attachment, to the wine glasses that held my Ramsier over many celebrations and lonely dinners, meant that when I finally had to trash them, I had a few moments to day dream about those times, a glance followed, a sigh followed and then a crash of glass breaking.

When you get caught in the turmoil of making a choice - that is the moment of truth. Like the high speed churning of the milk of life. Almost always the cream of priorities surfaces effortlessly. And when that churning happens, the choice really doesn’t need to be made. To steal an idea - "You don’t have to think too much about your #1 priority. It always the closest to you."

There is only so much you can carry. And when you realize that, you start sifting through your priorities. We too get our 20kgs in life that we can “check-in”. Not more, not less. And then it’s always up to us what we put in that “bag”. Regrets or joy. Happiness or sorrow. Smiles or tears. So I too had a choice to fill it all up with satisfaction of a purposeful existence rather than the burden called regrets - of actions unfinished or even wrong ones.

status : away !!

I know i have been away for a while. But i am taking care of some responsibilities.

A caring friend actually counted out the days i've been absconding.. its been a while since someone did that..

But i will be back. Some lingering thoughts need to go up here. But not just yet !!

"I'll be baack !!!!!"